Holiday & Special Occasion Dress Guidelines

 

What should I wear to the party?

The holiday/Christmas parties are just around the corner. Forget the fashion and style choices, would someone just tell me what the level of dress is going to be?

 

Last year Joanne and I were invited to a film awards night.  Envisioning the Academy Awards, I thought it would be a good opportunity to wear my new tuxedo.  It turned out most of the film people were more casually dressed, but the MC and I sure looked good. A suit or sport jacket would have made me fit in and feel better.

 

Wouldn't it be simpler if the invitation indicated an appropriate dress level, so we could all feel more confident and comfortable? If you are the event organizer consider putting the dress code on the invite, your guests will appreciate it (even the image consultants).

 

Here are those dress codes and what they mean:

 

WHITE TIE (ultra formal, rarely seen except White House Balls or Buckingham Palace)

For men:
Think of Fred Astaire in tails. This means a black short jacket that doesn’t fasten in front with two long black tails (tailcoat jacket). A white wing collar shirt, white vest and white tie (that's why it's called white tie) are also worn. Click here to see President Bush demo the look with the Queen.

For women:
Think long gowns like at the academy awards.  The queen’s tiara is optional but the look is as formal and expensive as you can afford to buy, borrow or rent.

Style for Success Tip:
Men can rent formal wear so why not women? Now women's high fashion and accessories are available to rent. Check your Yellow Pages or web under formal gown rentals.

BLACK TIE (means Tux and long dresses)

For men:
This means the tuxedo (no tails). The most attractive and classy look for men is the classic black tuxedo with black tie, white dress shirt, cufflinks & studs (to replace buttons).

Top it off with black silk/fine socks (long enough to hide your pale shins), black shiny/patent leather shoes and a vest or  cummerbund - the waist wrap (remember the folds face up to catch the crumbs - that's why it's nicknamed a crumb-catcher)
For women:
Black tie means glitter and glitz, evening/long dresses usually strappy or strapless with sheer hosiery and rich strappy, even Metallic sandals/pumps.

Style for Success Tip:

Men can go for other tux colors but they aren’t as classic for black tie and so if you're buying one, you will get much longer wear and better value with a classic black tux. If renting, you can go for a more fashion forward look.


FORMAL (sometimes called - Black Tie Optional, most cruise ship formal evenings are at this level)

For men:
This means wear a tux but a dark suit can also work. If wearing a dark suit, a white shirt and dark tie work best. Dark dress socks and well shined, dark dress shoes.
For women:
Long dress or a cocktail length dress (around the knee) is also an option. Again rich strappy shoes or satin. Accessories/jewelry with shine.

SEMI-FORMAL (aka - also known as - Cocktail or Holiday Attire, more formal Christmas party or wedding)

For men:
Good quality dark suit, white shirt, dark tie with dark socks and black shoes
(lighter colored suit, brighter colored shirt and tie will work for a day time event)
For women:
Cocktail dress or dressy pant suit is an option
Sheer hosiery, dressy pumps

INFORMAL (aka - Business Attire)

For men:
This means standard business wear. Could be a suit but more likely dress pants and a sports jacket with or without a tie, colored shirt or fine gauge knit sweater/polo shirt.

For women:
A dress, pantsuit or a skirt with or without a jacket.
Add some bright accents/accessories.

 

BUSINESS CASUAL

For men:
A jacket is not necessary (but preferable, see below) slacks or khakis, colorful shirt/fine gauge knit top and tie is optional.

For women:
Colorful sporty looks. Jacket recommended with skirt or pants.

 

CASUAL

For Men:
No jacket or tie required.  If wearing jeans, darker are better, but we suggest khakis rather than jeans, for a little more class.

For women:
Pretty well anything goes (but see our Style for Success Secret below)

More Style for Success Tips -
Special occasions are just that - special occasions.
To look a little classier and feel more confident, try to dress at the same level as the top dressed 20% of people attending the event.

If the invitation doesn't indicate a clothing/dress code, it’s a good idea to call the event planner or someone who's attended before, to check what’s expected.  When in doubt dress a little more formal.

 

There you go, file that away for future reference. One less thing to worry about. Now you just have to make conversation (Click here for our Increase Your Charisma article) and enjoy the party. (Click here for our Surviving the Office Party Tips)

 

Merry Christmas and a happy holiday season,

 

Joanne and Terry.

 

P.S. - Speaking of enjoying yourself, we had a great launch party for our Dining Etiquette Video DVD. Thanks to all of you who could attend and helped us celebrate. Click here for a photo of the guests and fine spread at the Sutton Place Hotel and a photo of Joanne and Terry in his tuxedo (Terry 007 looks a little shaken and stirred but appropriately dressed this time as host and MC).

DEAR JOANNE & TERRY Q&A

 

Demeanor Question:

 

Q.   Client Gifting - What's appropriate? I want to send some client appreciation Christmas gifts but I'm not sure what's appropriate and what's not. Any advice?

 

- Gifted in Gimli

 

A.

We’re big on personalizing your approach, especially gifts for individuals. That doesn’t mean high cost but it does mean choosing something with their tastes in mind. This indicates that you know a bit about them and that thought that went into the gift.

 

A few tips to consider to avoid making an inadvertent faux pas. 

Be sensitive to the cultural diversity of your clients.  Not everyone celebrates Christmas, however sending a gift or card that wishes those clients a happy holiday season or for the New Year would be appreciated.

 

Gifts that are not appropriate and may offend are those that are perceived to be too personal in nature: jewelry, fragrance and clothing. (Save those gifts for your significant other. Are you listening, Terry?).  Hard liquor can be tricky too, although if you know their preferences, a nice bottle of wine or scotch can be a fine gift.

 

Be familiar with their company’s policy around gifting.  If you’re not sure, do your research and call their administrative assistant/secretary and ask what they would enjoy.

 

Keep track of what is meaningful to your clients and colleagues, so it becomes easier to find the right gift in December. (Click here for some low-cost, high-relationship gift ideas in a previous article of ours - Did They Re-gift Your Gift?) It truly is the thought that counts most.

 

- Joanne

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Dining Question:

 

Q.  I am hosting a client and her husband to dinner at our house and I was wondering what direction food should be passed around the table.

- Leff Wright in Victoria

 

A.

In a restaurant, wait staff should be presenting food into your left and removing it from your right. When passing food at the table you should follow the same rule; presenting to the person on your right.  In other words the food should move anti-clockwise around the table.

If someone passes it in the wrong direction, just accept it and move it along.  Nice touch is holding the plate for the other person to serve themselves.  Remember it’s not about being perfect at the table, but good dining manners is knowing the rules but enjoying yourself and making others feel comfortable.

 

- Terry

 

P.S. - This tip is illustrated in our short video preview which we now have on the web. Click here for information and see a preview of the DVD. Santa says a DVD like this might make a great gift for young people in your circle who are starting out in their careers or for anyone who wants to improve their dining skills.

 

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Quotable Quotes:

 

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

- Garrison Keillor

 

Consider how you spend the holidays. Spend the gifts of time with those you care about and spend the gifts of money on those in need.
- Anonymous

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All contents Copyright ©2006, Style for Success Inc. - Terry Pithers and Joanne Blake, except where otherwise indicated. All rights reserved worldwide. Duplication or reprints only with express permission or approved credits as indicated below.

 

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This article was provided by Terry Pithers and Joanne Blake, business dining, image and etiquette experts, speakers and creators of the Dining for Success DVD.
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Copyright © 2006 Style for Success Inc. All rights reserved worldwide.

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